I think you have to go through phases. For me, it was when I felt rage that my wife got our children exposed to the physical aspect of her affair. I reached a point where I said - "Enough!" and I filed. Taking charge of the situation gave me confidence. I reached a point where I decided that I could live my life happily without her.
The financial worrys are real, but in all likelyhood, you will bounce back. Try not to focus on them that much, but more on what you can do to take charge now of you and your son's life.
One guy I follow here that I respect a lot is faithisbelieving. He has been at this for over 3 years and has been tied up in the lousy New York divorce legal system for far too long. Also, he recently had a fiasco with his STBXW of taking his son out on Citifield for a Mets game. He too tried to piece things back with his cheating MLC wife and she kept playing him like a yoyo. I hope he is not damaged for future relationships.
