It sounds like you may be having panic attacks. (Have you ever watched the Sopranos? The main character gets them - interesting to see). I have been in that dark, dark place, and it is not a good one to be in. You may be helped a lot with meds - do you have medical? Try to get into see your own primary care doctor. They see this enough. If you can get in to see some kind of therapist, even better. But the meds can save a life.
