Jumping in (1st post)

[BigJohn]

Good job Gardener. Keep heading in the direction you are going. The DBing will get easier with time.

Just a quick comment regarding the mediation talk. I don't know what the law is in Connecticut, but I'm over hear in California and I gotta tell you, if my sitch does go the distance to the big D, I'm not agreeable to mediation. Nor to temporary separation which to me is a mutual agreement to have an open marriage. (Heck, we can't afford it now anyways.) In my mind, both mediation and temporary separation are chicken $**t ways of letting the WAS off the hook to ease into a D. Both options sure look good to my potential WAW. I say no way Jose. If she wants a D so bad, we are going to go through the whole painful and eye opening process. It's not that I am trying to be spiteful so much as to open W's eyes to it all (Reality) and accept some accountability for it all (more Reality). D is nothing like what W is envisioning in her fantasy right now and if we have to spend some money to get this through her head- and reconsider what she is doing to be with OM-then so be it. Just a thought.