I understand this. Ok, here are some thoughts from the "other side". Your H made this OW feel like she was special, probably said things to her that made her feel like she was going to be with him forever, she was "broken" when she met your H, and now is "broken" even more if that is possible. Your H probably feels guilt about this, especially since she had his child. Even though your H now realizes that relationship was bad, he still feels guilt and has feelings about her.
When having an affair, the affair partners very often are a little "off". For them to have a relationship with a married person in the first place, tells you that there is some lack of self esteem, lack of knowledge about love and commitment, etc.
My former OM was like your H's OW. I KNEW when I told him that we were done, that it wouldn't end quietly. We didn't have a child between us, but that didn't stop the phone calls, the hang up calls, I know he passed the house a few times, he got involved with the police a couple times, etc. You would think that would make me feel better about ending it....because he was "crazy". But, problem is, I felt the guilt about it...I knew he was emotional when I met him and it was one of the reasons I liked him......if it weren't for me, making him fall for me, convincing him that we were heading toward a real relationship, etc., he wouldn't be so upset. I was the cause of this OM's pain. And, on top of it, I missed him. It's just emotionally difficult. Not impossible, just difficult.
A restraining order may be necessary. Work as a team with your H.
