I know what you mean about DBing as the hardest task you've ever done - it was/is for me as well...but there's something so unexpectedly rewarding in it. The key for me - and I say this knowing that I will not reconcile with my STBX - is that I had to learn to be happy on my own. I don't know if you've had occasion to read this other web site, but if not, you should check out divorce as friends dot com and read the article on letting go. Actually, there is a lot of good information there...much of it agrees with the DB approach - and some of the articles can help enhance one's understanding of why some things work as they do (for ourselves...if not for the spouse).
