Thanks for all your insights in this thread Sandi, I have found them very helpful.
I am a newcomber (posting in newcombers) who is having some success treating H as a friend only, we have gone from extreme discomfort to much more relaxed and much more respect and friendship from him towards me. He is still very keen to separate, so I am trying to find the balance between me dropping the rope and and encouraging the better behavior while maintaining self respect, I guess thats looking for the baby steps.
Anyway, thanks again for your comments in this thread
