Where am I? How long will it last?

[The Wifey]

Needing,

First thing you have to come to grips with is that this is happening and it is real. I didn't want to believe it for so long.

Then you need to strap on the big girl panties. You can't imagine you being here a year down the road and being ok with it. I got my bomb 6/2/08 so I am beyond that point.

It took a long time for me to get over the shock, the pain, the tears, and coupled with peri-menopause I ended up on an anti-depressant. I read and tried to follow DB, then DR. I hoped and prayed this would be over quickly.

I started IC shortly after the bomb that helped tremendously. I am still seeing her, in fact.

It took a long while but I am now stronger, more in control of my emotions, busy, and very centered. I wouldn't say my H and I are officially piecing yet, but we are definitely rebuilding.

We only saw each other once in several week spans at first. Sometimes it was more than a month before we saw each other. Now, we text/email daily and see each other 3-4 times a week and usually spend Sundays together.

Read the books, take notes, re-read them. Learn to GAL, because it really and truly will help you. Learn, Read, GAL, read some more.

Take an interest in your day. Meaning that you should notice the details that you normally take for granted. The shower, the sunrise, how nice your blankets feel, the smell of coffee, the beauty of nature around you.

When you want to call your WA, journal instead. If you have to cry, cry. Give yourself a time limit. Then go do something. Be kind to yourself. Get a manicure, a massage, go for a walk.

Try to focus on one forum. Newcomers is usually where I hang. They know me here and many of the people here are like my family. Post to other people. That is the best way to get others to post to you. Even if you don't have any advice, it will help you to reach out to other people.

I'm sorry you find yourself here. But you are among friends that understand more than anyone in your real life ever could.

Wish I could tell you this is a short trip. Unfortunately, all you can do right now is to strap in and get ready for a marathon. It can get better. I am praying for you.