WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[The Wifey]

Just remembered one other point we had a long discussion on. My friends kept harping that I need to draw the line with my wife that we should stop doing things together with the kids. They said that us spending breakfast and lunch together at home on Sat and then lunch and dinner together on Sun while going to a baseball game is going to mess up the kids. They said to them, everytime we are together and then part ways, the kids are seeing us get divorced/separated again each time.

The four of us are suppose to have dinner together on Tuesday (I will take the boys home on Tues nite), rather than her driving out to the house on Weds AM (her suggestion).

When I asked how does that help in getting back together if we never see each other that's when they said that I need to just accept that it's over and let it go.

So, curious on other people's thoughts here.

Do I stop all contact with her so the kids don't get confused or how should I handle these little "family" functions that we get together for?

One mistake that I see a lot of newcomers make is to be so distraught that they get into these conversations with people that supposedly have their best interest at heart. They give far more information to these people than they should.

Then they flap in the wind with every opinion anyone utters.

Look. Keep doing things together. And keep them as positive as possible. Enjoy each other and enjoy the kids. It will be more confusing to only see one parent at a time and never see you together.

The kids would be more frightened, not less, if you don't do things together.

And, stop the deep conversations with these well-meaning friends that have a different opinion than you. Stop baring your soul or listening to their "advice." You can be friendly, but why let them get into your personal business, especially if it will at all affect your mood, feelings, etc?

Also, think in terms of the old R and M are gone. How do new R's start? They start with a friendship. The very best ones, anyhow. So, be friends. Have new experiences. Build new memories. You don't need to verbalize that you are rebuilding, just DO it.