the problem is that i dont heal in time. because everything always changes with us.

nothing is ever final, nothing is ever over.

even last year, when for a few weeks i was at peace with being over, everything turned around and changed. it took time to suck me back in, but he did.

this time too. a few weeks ago i was convinced this was it, then he changed towards me, i was immediately sucked back in.

so, i have a very hard time fully moving foward, because in the back of my mind, i say to myself, this isnt it, it isnt over, things will be ok.

and i have a very hard time overriding those thoughts.

i get out, do my thing, pull myself together, but at the same time, he is who i want, he is who i think about, i want my husband back.

me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09