True Love or True Fog? Changing Forums

[No Longer BH]

Ok, I HAVE to chime in here....I have been through the emotional ringer and have come out the other side very intact. For so long I did everything and anything to "win" back my H. I have recently re-read ALL of my post and can see exactly where I went wrong. SF, you feel like you are getting conflicting advice, well you are.....but I am here to tell you what is best for YOU, not your H, not your M. Because without a WHOLE you there is no possibility for a R anyway. It took me soooooo long to understand this.

When I was on my journey I was told time and time again, "Act like the OW, if you are mysterious and fill up their love buckets they will come back to you." Sheesh,to think I actually paid for this advice. I am not trying to sound cynical here, but boy did this reasoning tear apart my self-esteem. What I really needed to do was detach and let go. I needed to focus on me and not "us". I needed to just let him be in his screwedup world to face the consequinces of his actions. Here is the thing.....as long as OW is in the picture (even just a littel teeny tiny bit) there is NO HOPE for a R......did you hear me...NO HOPE for a R. He has to be away from her before he can defog and get his head on straight to even think about R. Why waist your time and effort on something that is not going to be noticed? I am going to post a few things that I learned to your thread.....I took me almost a year to believe this stuff, but it is true..........