Where am I? How long will it last?

[needinghope]

Hello to all others who are hurting and confused.

I think I have posted all over the site at this point. I'm not sure where my M is at this point. We have been separated for 3 weeks. H said that he hasn't been happy since we returned from our honeymoon 5 1/2 years ago. When he left he said that it was over, but he would go to counseling???? So, we went to our first appointment yesterday and it went really well. But, he hasn't said that he has any intention of coming home.

I'm over the shock and have started pulling myself together, but I miss him horribly. I get discouraged when I read others in the forum talk about their 9 month - 18 month separations. Under what circumstanced does that happen? Are you in contact during that time? Couples counseling? If so, then you have patience of Biblical proportions. But, that is really scarry for me. I'm not sure I can keep going to MC for almost a year while still living apart from my H.

I'm looking for clarification. Those of you in long separations, what are the circumstances? Are you both working to improve the M? Do you talk to each other? I may end up where you are and I want to begin to prepare myself.

To all LBSs who have been fortunate enough to reconcile, were you in counseling during the time you lived apart? How long did it take to reconcile?

I need advice. H and I are on a path with a MC, but I still want to adjust my expectations on how long this could take based on the afore mentioned situation. I know I need to go with the flow, but I do all of that jazz in H's presence- not here. I also know that every M is different, but I'm trying to get a general idea.

This site has been such a life-saver for me over the past 3 weeks. I hurt for all of you who are hurting. I can't imagine how I would have coped with all of this before Al Gore invented the internet . (Nothing against his politics, I just thought it was funny when he said that.) (Now I've over-explained my joke, thus killing it. Sorry)

Needinghope