WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

You're the same way. You've got to get your balls out of her court (so to speak) and control the situation. She's going to accuse you of alot of things, but they are empty threats. This is what she wanted. Why should she be the one to control you?

For you, I think you need to physically detach in order to emotionally detach. The less you see her the better. But again, the times that you do see her, make yourself look the best. But you've got to start with the detaching first before you can even begin to really DB.

I must admit that recently, we have seen a lot of each other (Sat breakfast and lunch; Sun lunch throuhg dinner; and Tues dinner and drinks). But we hadn't seen each other since my job loss bomb on the Monday prior. But then again, I guess if you include the text/calls, it does seem like a lot of contact.

I guess one of the silver linings to the job loss is that the child support hearing is now pushed off till mid Dec. The other silver lining is that I'm spending a ton of time with my boys.

The last silver lining is that I'm now spending a lot of my time/energy to looking for a job. I hadn't realized how much time/energy I spent on my wife as looking over my threads, I posts quite frequently during the day (maybe that's why they decided that if they eliminated my position, it wouldn't impact the business). But that's all in the past, can't second guess that now.

So this new focus for me is helping me detach. I do get sad when my boys say/do something that upsets them. But that is part of being a dad, in my mind.

I do think she sees that I'm fine with this job loss bomb. I've been trying to maintain the best CIPA possible, not just when I interact with her, but when I'm with my boys. I do let my vulnerability through when I talk to my friends and close family though. This is a big 180 for me as in the past I never let that side out to anyone. Not even my wife (hence her claim of not knowing who I am after all these years).

Thanks for dropping in and checking in on me again. I'm still thinking about the B'day gift question you had. I'll post something on your thread about that.

Take care