M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
John, Wow...although I completly understand why you did that I am not sure I agree with the timing...the potential for disease with four OM is kind of high and with one OM possible multiple times it increases your odds for infection even more. Please be careful...with your relationship so far apart right now you do not want your W to put you in the "casual" group with the other four...you marriage is important and ML is part of that marriage...not a hookup. I am also concerned about your legal position...when you ML after knowing your W has had relationships with OM it gives the apperance to the court that you forgave...I wonder if she did this on purpose after talking to a lawyer...with her thinking of the Army and a commission I wonder if she is trying to save her retirement check...if she makes?...probably Major and doesn't want to pay.
It also weakens you position when going for primary custody and CS. Again, you are there and know what is going on...if you think it is helping then consider...I can tell you that if you do get a STD the ML was not worth it...the pain, embarassment, and stress is horrific...it affects much more of your life than just taking a few pills and all is good...for years.
You seem to know what you want to do...not sure I agree with it but there are many here (PDT) that can advise you...I so much hope it works out for you and your Ds best...
Good job on telling your W to get involved with D. V/R,
I don't want you to think I'm judging you. I have followed you since the beginning, and you are the real hero in this situation. Even if you use protection, incurable disease like herpes can spread. Falling on that sword is not being a hero -- it is choosing to be foolish.
Please please please take care of your valuable self.
You seem to know what you want to do...not sure I agree with it but there are many here (PDT) that can advise you...I so much hope it works out for you and your Ds best...
I'm not sure that I can. We have both said everything that can be said, but ultimately it's up to John to decide what he wants to do, and how much cr@p he's willing to put up with.
If there's one thing I've learned from these boards, ya ain't ready untils you'ze ready.
You seem to know what you want to do...not sure I agree with it but there are many here (PDT) that can advise you...I so much hope it works out for you and your Ds best...
I'm not sure that I can. We have both said everything that can be said, but ultimately it's up to John to decide what he wants to do, and how much cr@p he's willing to put up with.
If there's one thing I've learned from these boards, ya ain't ready untils you'ze ready.
Puppy
Puppy, You're right and I haven't decided what it is that I want. Everytime I get close to making the decision something stops me. As you already know, this is one of the hardest things I've had to deal with in my life. Unfortunately, I have had many moments of weakness and heartache which does not lend to solid decision making. So, I'm still struggling with what to do.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
John, Everyone struggles...that is why you come here for advise and to bounce your thoughts off of others who have been where you are at...otherwise you will continue to make the same mistakes.
Have you identified the OM? Is you wife still saying she made it up? If so, do you believe her? Why?
Lawyer? Do not discuss this with your W. Bills beign paid and hopefully ahead a few months with some savings? Those kind of things...
