Hey VOR!!! I just now realized you had started a thread.
It does sound more like Kim is having separation anxiety, than just being totally batchittcrazy. If she won't give in on this then you're just going to have to deny her the next time she asks for any flexibility at all. Make her stick to the 'letter' of the D agreement.
I'm going to think some more on this and will reply more on this later. My brain is a little frazzled right now.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Mike - I take it that your son and daughter dont argue over toys.
I am mostly removed from my BatChitCrazy X now. I did hear interesting things recently from the kids. Ed (who will be 69 in a couple weeks) told them last weekend he is going to marry their mom (she is 38). It stings a bit that I bought her out of $40G of spousal support - Oh well, it is only money. The kids also tell me that on their trip to Thailand that Ed is not staying at MIL's house in the suburbs because he does not want the mosquitoes to bite up his bald head. He is going to stay in a hotel in Bangkok. I wish I could be there when he meets my former MIL (who I really do miss).
Glad to hear you have such a fun week planned with your teacher and your girls.
In the dark recesses of my mind I recall some lengthy halfway driving you and Kim did early on to swap Caleigh. I can't remember the details, but do you think that has something to do with it? Another woman mothering her only child is something that's probably upsetting her, too. Because of Caleigh's tender years, your daughter will develop a significant nurturing relationship with someone other than her biological mom based on your romantic relationships. Kim is one scared mommy. It's a scenario you may dealing with at some point, too.
With that said.. what to do?
Ask in a reasonable way fashion validating her fears and reassuring her?
Offer Kim more time with Caleigh? (I remember she wasn't one to let you 'make up' days.)
I'd suggest not paying Kim.. but bribery might work. Offer to pay for a night or two in a hotel starting the day you leave. That way Kim can make the whole drive up, hang out at the beach with Caleigh for mother daughter bonding time and drive back at her leisure. Or a gift certificate for a Mommy/daughter mani/pedi. There must be some way to make having Caleigh be up there the entire week appealing to Kim... and not have it come back to bite you in the ass. Michele probably has some sound suggestions.
Try thinking like Kim... What would appeal to her? After all she's the one you have to convince.
In the dark recesses of my mind I recall some lengthy halfway driving you and Kim did early on to swap Caleigh. I can't remember the details, but do you think that has something to do with it?
yep..we both drive about 30 minutes to do the swap..and I think that has nothing to do with it.
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Another woman mothering her only child is something that's probably upsetting her, too.
I could really care less if Kim gets upset..I'm not DB'in her..we are divorced..her being upset..ain't my problem..if women who get divorced think that men they divorce will remain celibate then maybe those women should join the rest of us in the real world..cause it ain't happening.
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Because of Caleigh's tender years, your daughter will develop a significant nurturing relationship with someone other than her biological mom based on your romantic relationships. Kim is one scared mommy. It's a scenario you may dealing with at some point, too.
I don't really see that..if Caleigh and Kim have not bonded in 3 years then there will never be a bond..and I hope how soon that scenario plays out for me..I hope how soon Kim finds someone else to screw with..
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Ask in a reasonable way fashion validating her fears and reassuring her?
that's been done to an extent..she's been told Caleigh will call her everyday...she's been told that her picture will sit by Caleigh's bed...
Caleigh's not gonna think of her while she is at the beach...shes' gonna be having too much fun..
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Offer Kim more time with Caleigh?
Kim gets 252 days a year..she has enough time with Caleigh. more than enough.
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Offer to pay for a night or two in a hotel starting the day you leave. That way Kim can make the whole drive up, hang out at the beach with Caleigh for mother daughter bonding time and drive back at her leisure.
she can pay for her own night at the beach..she's got a nice big log home as an asset..she's rolled all her debt into that house loan..she's getting $727 and month child support..
I will offer to pay for a frontal lobotomy for her..
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Try thinking like Kim...
I don't do batchitt crazy very well..
How about Kim doing the right thing for once...for the hell of it..
