Been a while since I posted here. Been posting mostly in newcomers.
Update is...no change. W has not brought up R at all. At times, she seems very interested to talk to me. Usually when we are watching TV or a movie with the kids. But also when its just the two of us after the kids have gone to bed. W has seemed a little down (won't call it depression) and sometimes withdrawn.
I have stuck with DB'ing - no backsliding. GAL'ing, exercising, losing wt (prob. 20-25 lbs so far), working on ME, detaching, and, most importantly, spending great time with the kids. Recent focus has been to work on detaching. Not that I am giving up on M, just getting me to a place I will accept D if it happens. And, mot importantly, knowing I will be ok - I know I will.
W went back to work about a month ago, which I think will help her. She has always claimed most of her identity through her job. She has had some challenges with the new job and particularly with her personality (independent, overbearing) clashing with others at work. I can see these qualities in her but don't think she can. She was genuinely surprised to receive criticism about this.
I have been supportive, but not in a pursuing way. Every so often (maybe 2 times a week), I will tell her she looks nice - when she does. I get a polite "thank you."
The wall is definitely still up. She is very careful not to do or say anything that would be any type of sign that she is considering anything but D. As I learn more about WAS, I understand her much better.
Anyone have any suggestions of whether I can improve anything I am doing? Anyone have any comments about when and how you decided to work on your M if you were the WAS (specifically how you let your spouse know this)?
Had a C session yesterday. C said, while no guarantees, the fact W has not filed for D and it has been 2 months is probably a good sign.
