That's actually what really created misery in our M. I get your point but, I actually think I need to imagine him as an adult.
When he asked about the zoo, I did mention that maybe he might want to rest and the kids will be plenty occupied. He still came, bought all of the tickets, carried the heavy bag and left a bit early. Was fine.
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It's like a little boy looking for attention from his mommy. Then when you pull away a little, he'll whine, complain, say you're unfair, etc. But don't give in. You've set up your life for yourself and have your own agenda. Don't accomodate your life for his. What will happen is that he'll run back to the OW and complain about how you are so unfair...boo hoo hoo. But eventually everyone is going to get sick of hearing it from him. That's the time when he's going to have to stop and actually think, hey maybe it's me that has a problem.
Yes on the bold, I really need to work on that so thank you! The rest is pure projecting and speculation...:)
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Don't be afraid to establish the schedule and see what happens. The next time he calls to cancel or complain about why he might not make it, CUT HIM OFF BEFORE HE STARTS. Then just tell him, that's okay, you're going to be fine being with the kids without him (in a nice way) and that you have to go or you'll be late. That's it.
Again, yes on the bold in a major way and I struggle with that (obviously).
The near cancel was a text message apparently misinterpreted by me. I like how I handled it because without infusing all of my hostility and frustration, I just straight up asked what was up because I can make other plans. I really would NOT have been ok with him flaking knowing how rare and how difficult it is for me to get my kids covered AND that it would normally be his night. I would have been pissed. Also, he had insomnia, not out until 6 as I had projected (unless he's pathological which I can't really assume).
