What's it really all about?

[Coach]

That is the gut level reaction of THE FEAR. For me, the Love has to be stronger than the Fear, but I am not sure that (or am not yet at a place where) the Love replaces the Fear.

If your child was in the road and a car was screeching towards them wouldn't you jump in the way so they wouldn't get hit? All kinds of pain involved sure but why did you do it? Was it a act of love? Did you think about it?

Had this conversation last night at the dinner table. If your son right now needed a kidney and you were a match would you give him yours? What if you thought your remaining kidney might fail later? What if it was your W?

Acknowledge the fear and think thru it. Why would you choose this action? What is really the worst that can happen? One of my HS coaches used to tell us when we were running, "Don't worry you will pass out before you die, you won't feel a thing." Took my mind off my cramps.

If you act out of Love, and that Love is rejected

that is why giving without expectations works

or taken advantage of, then that hurts - really hurts.

that is out of your control, plus that is a sign the other person is hurting. If I expect nothing in return then you can't take advantage of me. It was a choice I made to just give. I am not advocating continuing to give to someone who doesn't appreciate you but sometimes we must give because its's the right thing to do.
My humble experience is I get the most love back when I expect nothing in return. I would not have bought into this idea a year ago because I was scared. Now I take the snakes on.
Cue Samuel L Jackson "I'm sick and tired of all these mf'n snakes on this mf'n brain."

As a coach one of my tenents is "confidence comes from being prepared." Learning the tools here helps you get prepared for the internal and external situations.

Cheers

ps There is a really funny spoof website of all those feel good posters at despair.com