So I get this text from her after I get in bed friday night and she accuses me of leaving the kids with her that night so I "could go out"! She said I just wanted her to think I was being nice by leaving them with her...so I could be manipulative like I've always been...and she said that's why she left and that's why she's never coming back!
Call her on this. She is mind reading and she is blaming you for her own conversation in her head. "Actually wife I was not being manipulative, I was thinking of you by asking if you wanted the kids Friday night since I understand how you feel about being apart from them for so long. I am doing the right thing for myself. I was not being manipulative if you want to know what I am thinking or my intentions just ask. So next time don't think for me, if you need to know I'll be glad to fill you in.
Listen for her mind reading, her using phrases like - you always, you never, I do everything, you do nothing etc. and correct it when you hear it. You can change emotions by changing thoughts.
Quote:
'I understand that you feel the way you do about me. I feel the way I do about you. I want a new marriage, but I want it to be with the mother of my children...you. If you divorce me, then we will go our separate ways. But I am remorseful for how I treated you and the kids in the past. And I care deeply for you and our kids. I wish it wouldn't have taken you leaving for me to become a better man, a better father, and a better partner...but it did...and I am. Be safe, and enjoy your trip'. (she was going to Texas to see her parents).
Honest and open from you. That felt good didn't it?
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
