This was a case where she truly would have thought I was an idiot for spending the money or staying at the apartment. I have seen her reactions to people who don't accept her help and she doesn't think to highly of it when she is offering a solution.
WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!?????????? It is YOUR money to spend as you choose so who gives a flying fig what your W thinks. Again, all your actions and decisions are based around what you think will impress or attract your W the most. Her reactions are HERS to own and you dont need to cater to her to get the reaction you want. Because *all* you wanted was a way to worm yourself into the house and spend a night as a "family" so you can pretend things will be okay (maybe they will, maybe they wont).
All of this could have been avoided if you had met her outside or at your door as we suggested some time ago. She isnt keen on you being in her house so why do you let her in yours? My guess is you let her in so you can show her how clean and neat it is and how awesome you are doing on your own. Again, manipulation and ulterior motives. You should have been waiting at the door with the stuff your W needed and made a hasty exit saying you had plans. That would have created some mystery. Heck, you could have had an overnight bag and said you had plans for the evening and let her wonder exactly where you were going for the night with an overnight bag.
But you let your W call the shots AGAIN so you could do what she wanted you to do and frankly, I think its exactly the invitiation you wanted.
When I was *so* sick last year my H would say... let me come over and walk the dog, let me help you do this or that. I would always say "no thanks, I have it covered and wonderful family and friends to help me out when I need it". I would have been damned to have him come over and play hero so he can tell himself he is a good guy then head to his GF's house.
I'm not sure what you mean by "without giving me what I wanted". At best I am at the point of getting on friendlier terms with her which is further along than where it used to be. And she does think I am getting a life. I guess that equates to me not being so dependent on her so that she can feel more at ease if we are able to work things out down the road.
I still think you are GAL for her to see and not for your benefit. I hope I am wrong but your posts indicate otherwise.
You worry about *her* being at ease. When exactly are you goign to start worrying about *you* feeling at ease?
And all these predictions... "it will take at least 2 yrs" shows you are not detached and so heavily focused on your W. As somebody who is close to reaching the 2 yr mark I can tell you predictions are a waste of mental energy. Especially when she has the gall to tell you about OM (shooting guy) while you are spending time together.
You have expectations this will lead to something (M). Seems to me she just wants to be friends or co-parents at best. If my H ever came over here and told me about an outing w/his GF he would be kicked right out. Its rude.
