Slowly getting better?? - WAW advice still needed.

[Sam1007]

Kalni! Thanks for coming over!

Without asking her to take the test, I can't be sure of her LL, but in my mind WOA is her main one and AOS is mine (with QT as a second). I found it really easy to take things easy on vacation becuase I was getting QT with her on a daily basis, so I am on withdrawal now... Her AOS's give me fuel to carry on. I try to give her WOA on her work, her looks when I get a chance. I believe she's actively working to get WOA from me on a regular basis by showing me her work and by asking for my opinion on clothes she's buying. And I don't have to "act as if", because her work is amazing most of the time (pastel and oil paintings and graphics design work) and I help her pick out things to wear that I think look good on her. So I am trying to make deposits in her love bank when we see each other, but try to remain as detached as possible otherwise (hard to do when you're switching kids back and forth all the time tho...)

We stop and I dont pursue it because I felt it was harming us.

Did you mean pursuing him to go to MC was harming you, or the MC itself? We found a great MC, W really likes her and really opens up to her. She even tells me how she would like to go again after we have been there. The MC is about 1.5hrs drive away and we have to take off of work to go, so it's not doable to go every week from that point of view (much less the cost!). So we said maybe we can go once a month. This last time she said that she wanted to set up the next appt, so I said great! But now that it's time to set up the next appt, she keeps avoiding it, citing money issues, which (as pearl has said) are real but used as an excuse. So she says she wants to go again(unsollicited) during the ride back home, but after we get back she makes no effort to make another appointment that she said she wanted to make and I have to ask about it to find out.

The amount of work that becomes evident can be overwhelming.

Maybe that is what's keeping her...

Doing something is a requirement though.

EXACTLY!!! And NOTHING is being done. Before our S, she accused me of acting like nothing was wrong, when I was just trying to be more detached and GAL. She has always told me that a S would help her deal with things, but the whole time she's been acting like everything is fine like this. As a matter of fact, the S basically cut off my LL (AOS) almost completely. At least I can still act on her LL.

I do hope your W realizes she needs some type of help and takes steps toward getting it.

She has told me on several occasions that she realizes she needs help, that the MC is really helping her, etc.. But she won't take the steps to GET help..... Keeps mentioning the money issues. She had said she wanted to do something for Father's day together, but then she broke her toe. She also said that she didn't have any money so she wouldn't be able to pay for anything until this Friday. She wanted to make a painting of my (our really, but she lives with me) dog for father's day and she did follow up on that by asking if I had any good pictures of her.