WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[MrBond]

I think you really need to not see her as often IMHO.

You set yourself up for failure every time you do that. When I was physically separated, we would both go to see our kids at swim class. This was during my time with them. After swimming, my oldest D would beg to see if my W could join us for lunch. Sometimes I agreed, most of the time I told her 'no' because we had other plans (even if we didn't).

I saw my W would look sad during the times that I said that, but I had to do it to set things straight. That if this is what she wanted, this is the way it was going to be. Kids on my time, then I decide if she comes or not. I had to get some kind of control back in my life.

You're the same way. You've got to get your balls out of her court (so to speak) and control the situation. She's going to accuse you of alot of things, but they are empty threats. This is what she wanted. Why should she be the one to control you?

For you, I think you need to physically detach in order to emotionally detach. The less you see her the better. But again, the times that you do see her, make yourself look the best. But you've got to start with the detaching first before you can even begin to really DB.