"I actually want to understand more what Stuck is getting out of being where he is? I need to ask myself the same question."
What am I getting out of it? Well in terms of myself, I've grown tremendously in how my actions and emotions can hurt others. I've learned how to better talk to my spouse and interact with them. I've also learned how to compromise and really listen.
In terms of what am I getting out of my W at the moment? Nothing really. But what I am learning from her is how she communicates to me and others. My background is in science and this whole sitch has literally become one big case study for me. When you're testing a medication, you try one and if it doesn't work, you try another. This is just like the cheeseless tunnels that's in DR. So as I've observed my W, I've learned how she REALLY communicates, and it's not what I thought before.
I've also learned that in the end, you have to find the strength in yourself to decide if you want to stay or move on. I think I've learned alot about patience and myself in this process.
"As I said before, if I were her, I would be wondering why someone that together and wonderful would be sticking around for the mistreatment/neglect...that is assuming he is together and wonderful."
Well I am trying my best here to be wonderful. She has been warming up ever so slightly, but is still pretty distant in the intimacy dept. Like tonight, my D remarked that my workout shorts looked like underwear and my W agreed. I told her, playfully, "Don't you wish?" She just gave me a "whatever". After that, the more I thought about it, I realized that she had that attitude towards things of a sexual nature for a while before the bomb. I think it was around when she started getting feelings for OM. She worked directly with him for 5 years.
In fact, even before the bomb, whenever I would compliment her on how she looked or smelled, she would just kind of waive it off as if my opinion didn't matter. What do you think about that? Sorry if that seems like mind-reading, but I just thought about it now.
Well after that remark, she asked if I wanted to have lunch with her and my Ds. It was the first invite she gave me since we physically separatead, so I said sure.
"Sorry to talk about you like this Stuck...but we're here to help."
NOt at all. I enjoy hearing everyone's thoughts to see if I'm on the right path. And the occasional 2x4 is necessary too.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
