WAH #4

[25yearsmlc]

Shoot Kassie,

The odds are against all of us if we're here in the first place. Come to think of it, the odds are nearly all against us from the day we got married if it's really a 50% thing. But as my 11 y/o read/said, "the fun thing about the dating game is you only have to win once, to win the whole thing..."

But I take a tiny bit of issue with your comment that pursuing the M now gives your M a future, as if waiting awhile would have prevented it. The idea is that full recovery is more likely wihout the stress of a troubled M, and that the M is more likely to succeed with full recovery. (Switch the order of those clauses if you like, but the plan is to have both goals achieved.)

Why'd you think the M would end if he stopped going to daily meetings now? Or did I misunderstand...or....well now, let me throw this one out Kassie, but here goes... did you feel the R was threatened by this sponsor, and so you helped undermine him to your h?

Some interesting things happen when people recover, and their M's issues surface, and sometimes the problems "ain't all about the drinking"... (People like my mother do not want to hear that. She wanted it ALL to be about my dad's drinking. My father was a highly functioning alcoholic with a lot of formal education but few stress coping tools...and my mother was conflict avoidant so it was a volatile mix with each wanting to make the other "wrong" even when they were loving...)

Kassie let me toss this one out too... I am wondering if you should just stay out of his R's with sponsors....why is it something you are involved with? Just curious but maybe you can ask your c or your Al Anon people what they think about you "voting" or supporting, or encouraging or saying anything to your h, about his sponsor. It's his recovery. Not yours. I know, I know. It's hard. But I think this is what is called enabling and co-dependency isn't it?

Just some food for thought.
(( j ))