Are the Pieces Really Coming Together?

[Jamesjohn]

So does that mean you now got a roadmap you can hand me to follow.

I wish I did, my man! I could sure use it a lot of times, too!

It seems to be a lot like the Lewis and Clark expedition, where I know that I need to head west to reach the Pacific Ocean, but I have to make some turns north and south to get around the mountains and rivers! (Or maybe it's more like that movie "Almost Heroes" with Chris Farley, if you've ever seen that one!)

I totally understand about the extreme swings. Personally, I've been trying to quit figuring out any "pattern" to them, and just try to deal with them (or NOT deal with them) as it comes along. I think a lot of DB'ing this might be in maintaining a fine-line balance of being consistent on your part, AND working your distance/persuit dance when needed.

My wife has a tendency to melt-down on a lot of reality issues. There was a long period of time when I "protected" her from most everything, just to avoid her having a major breakdown. However, this got to be really draining on me, and did neither of us any good. It's taken quite a few times of me stepping aside, "allowing" her to face some of the realities on her own, to make any progress. These are times where I've been seen as being "mean" to her, but she has eventually gotten over it (?), and we move forward.

I don't know if there is a way to really "stop" the swings, but I think the key is to look for things to not swing so far in the "bad" direction each times it passes the middle, and to not stay there for so long.

I don't know if any of this helps you, KAW, but take from it what you will.

That's a great positive about the wedding band! Do you think telling her how sexy her hand looks with it on, then just walking away with no further discussion, might be a good "positive behavior reinforcement"?

Hang in there, buddy!