WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

I think the thing is that you have to break out of the friend mode. You start showing her confidence and it'll attract her back. Right now you said that she was "worried" that you might slip into depression. HELLO?! You've outgrown that right?

From what you've learned here and in DR, there should be nothing that you should be depressed about. You are happy in your abilities and confident in yourself and your efforts.

You are absolutely right about the depression thing. I think she sees/believes that this job situation really hasn't fazed me. She knows I am pissed and think that it s*cks. Whenever she ask me about how it's going, I'm always confident, upbeat and optimistic. It may be tougher to carry that on if it drags out more than 3 months, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

I think you're definitely still giving off that needy vibe. She's already friendly with you, now's the time to show off your confident side especially in the face of the layoff. You don't want her to feel sorry for you or worried about you. You are the one who is going to survive because you've been to hell and back. Show her that side when you meet her face to face, but GAL to build yourself back up.

You may not realize it, but maybe when you leave, you have a hang dog expression on your face that she catches. Change that asap. Put on your warrior face and show that you can do what it takes to get the job done because you've got the tools and talent to do so.

That's a really good point on the "hang dog expression". I have to be very careful/aware of what I feel/express as she drives away. It's been really tough to get a life over the past 10 days as I've had the kids most of those nites (except for Sun nite when I saw the retired couple and Mon nite).

Right now with my job situation, I will likely get the boys on Tues nite through Sun morning. I suspect that since she will only have them 2 nites (Sun and Mon) that she may ask for Sat nite as well as start alternating Fri nites so she has them 50% of the time again. We had to go off the original schedule as we had to cut back on day care/camp to reduce cost. If she does ask, it will make it easier for me to get a life with my buddies as they usually ask/want to go out on Fri or Sat nite.

Thanks for the "catch" on the "hang dog express". I have a feeling I've been doing exactly that.