WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

Dude.....keep the fight going. She's COMPLETELY falling apart. In terms of doing things with her and the kids....I say do it. But maybe cut back the amount of time you spend together as a family. Also remember as people give you advice on how to handle this situation....they don't live with the day to day and the def. won't live with the outcome. So basically, I would ignore them but in a sweet I know you care about me kind of way.
I know with the job situation this might be harder, but you need to get out more when you don't have the kids. You need to let the kids know that when you don't have them you aren't just sitting at home and no, it's not so they can go back and tell mommy, it's so they know you aren't home moping and sad. It will make them, esp. the 7 year old feel better to know, Daddy is ok and having a nice time when he is alone.
I think it's time she know that you can and will go on with your life without her. You aren't the one having break downs right now. You are the stronger one and you are in just as much control over this as she is.
And by the way....open your club. That sounds like an amazing idea. I hope you do it.

Stillloveshim,

I hope you are right that she isn't as resolved to the divorce as I sense/feel from her. I really feel like we're at a point where she and I can be friends, but she doesn't see it going any further than that.

The retired couple that I talk to know that I don't necessarily agree/buy into everything that they say. While they stand by their thoughts/opinions, the do openly recognize that I am where I am as far as what I am ready to accept/do emotional and mentally. They are good enough friends to offer their thoughts/opinions and not be offended or hurt when I do not agree with it. I always welcome their perspective as it makes me think/challenge myself in my situation.

That is a good suggestion about getting out when I don't have the kids. I really hadn't done it in the last 10 days as I have had the kids most of those days (my wife had been sick). I had two nites without the kids (Sun and Mon). I did go see my friends on Sun nite because I was a wreck. My 7 year old knows I went out as he saw that I had the top up on my Camaro. He asked why I had it up and I told him that I went to see some friends when he and his brother went to visit mommy's apt.

He knows that I go out when their not there as a couple of times that they called to say goodnite, I would be out and they would ask where I was at. I used to tell him that I was sad and miss him and his brother when they would visit mommy's apt. I think your suggestion is a good one, so today, I started saying that I missed them both when they were visiting mommy's place (I stopped saying I was sad).

Thanks for your support and encouragement.