Hi. I am on Month #24 of my separation and , in a way, my divorce is busted but I have no real marriage. My H has never asked for a divorce, but I am still alone. He drops by daily. This irks me but I have not complained or filed. It was only me that try to save the marriage the first few months of our separation.
I think it does work to not bring up divorce or talk about the relationship.
It also helps to be positive. I know a happy spouse is almost impossible to leave, so that is reassuring.
It has also been very smart to never snoop. Some of my darkest moments have been going through his mail. yes, it confirmed his affair(s)?, but it also made me lose respect for myself. Affairs come out into the light eventually anyways.
Overall, I am proud that I have stuck to the main principles of DBing. I recommend it to everyone I see in similar sitches and there are a lot of us, so do not feel alone!
Keep the faith.
mkultra,
I am very very proud of you. You always have stuck to the main principles.
You deserve to be happy, and I believe you CAN be....and WITH your H.
You are no stranger to 'beginning with the mind of a beginner'....but I encourage you to do it....AGAIN....with an eye to improvement.
Are you game? peace, sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001