yeah......I agree .I like reading your posts and trustings as both of you are about on the same time table with bomb in 2005.....and the whole train wreck that could not be stopped....yesterday was really difficult.....I saw x at sons baseball game for summer league.....( he forgot it was fathers day????? left with out son????not sure if I believe that???, I saw him walking to the field and he looked horrible, came dressed like he had been in the yard pulling weeds..with a sad , mean look on his face.....then dissappeared after..son had to call him...hey Dad did u forget its Fathers Day I am suppose to be with you....hellooooooo.....I brought him to his Dad's came home and took a nap...thought this is not the man he was.....what happens to them...how could we have forseen this one....i have no doubt this is far worse than had they died.....I know that sounds sad....but it rips you up just to see how so far off they are from the person they were...like a zombie..how does this happen...and for our kids....I pray they never go through this....must keep the focus on the kids and our relationships ......yeah Fathers Day--- tough day....then u look at all the pictures of your XH with the kids....sure seemed happy and proud of his family....
First time in 2 years that i have been without both my kids for longer then a weekend-- or should i say first time in 2 years that d12 is not with her father and s20 is not home to keep me from doing stupid stuff.
i have grown - the temptation to go "check things out" is unreal. not as much tonight--- but the days to come. i won't. i have gained to much self respect. to many people have given their time. love and care to help me through... but the temptation lingers.
so i move forward... knowing htat this week - right now i need Gods strenth more then i have in a long tinme to overcome what in my own can not do on my own.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
What he is really saying is that "you have settled".
Would someone who was never happy, go around -----ing anything that walks.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
i agree with trusting they saw this becuase they can do what they are doing if they didnt...u know my h father divorced his 2nd wife who was my h adopted mother as his mom died when he was 5...but anyway....he divorced her when my h was 18 and told every one he knew right after he married her he made a mistake....and was never happy....hummmm well u know what he didnt seem happy in his 3rd marriage either and was always belittling the wife....and my h used to say he would never be like his dad....and didnt speak to him for years..well well well, what do we have here.....he left me for the secratary after 22 years of marriage what i thought was a good one and he was treated good.....and he sure doenst look happy.....almost unreconizable to me..and others too.....its very sad
We are really at the same place aren't we. How wierd. (in a good way)
Yesterday those words "i settled" resenated in my ears and my thoughts. HE SETTLED??!! I agree with you both -- that it is their way of justification. I guess where my hurt/anger comes in is the HUMILIATION. It is like I want to interject and tell the other people that he has told this too about WHO he WAS in my marriage and let them no about the GOOD we shared.. the things HE planned the LOVE he SHOWED... and then again I know it would do NO GOOD.
When he was with bimbo bitch - the beginning of his summer of freedom I got the "opportunity" to talk wiht her. IN my conversation I said to her things about OUR family experiences.. like for instance.. We had a boat.. that we bought as a family.. It was TOTALLY a FAMILY doing. I said to her.. Bimbo when you are on my boat... did you ever ask him about it? did he tell you about the story BEHIND the boat.. how we got it.. where we were.. all the stuff that went with OUR family? Of course she said no....
Right now I am angry and humiliated. If he dispises me so why doesn't he just stay in teh car when he comes to pick up d12. Why does he talk -- why doesn't he MOVE THE F away??!! If I was such a pain - such a piece of S** why did he stay for 20 years?!! If he DIDNT want to be in teh marriage why did he get married in teh first place?!!
I am probably more reved up because of the holiday. But right now -- I want to not want to know him anymore!
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
