GETTING UN'STUCK'

[MrBond]

Kittyfish,

Thanks. Yeah I've been trying not to "read" too much into her actions. I just chalk it up in the positive column. Thanks.

My W was pretty friendly though over the whole weekend. I think back as to how it was last year and it was a complete mess. I wonder what she thought about me getting her the books though.

[MrBond]

CIPA,

When my W came back it was because our youngest suffers from severe eczema. It had gotten worse when my W moved to her sister's place. The pediatrician actually looked at my D and was surprised as to how bad it had gotten. So he asked us if there was any change in terms of her environment that might have aggravated it. I gave my W that "I wonder what that could be" look.

After the appointment, I told my W that regardless of what she wanted, I insisted that my Ds stay with me at home for their health. I told her that I really didn't care about her any more and that the girls were my first priority. I told her that I could take care of them on my own and that since she didn't want to be home, I could do it myself.

She told me she would "think about it" which got me more upset because it was like she was putting her needs before the girls. Later that day (this was in Dec.) she said she would come over for 2 weeks to let my youngest heal. So during those 2 weeks, it was pretty tense. She was angry all the time, but I kept things as light as possible. Right after the 2 weeks, she announced she was leaving with the girls again as my youngest had healed. So she left...then came back the next day. Evidently when they went back, my D's skin flared up again badly. So she said she'd stay for another 2 weeks.

After that, she never left. A good sign is that she had been bringing home some of her clothing from her sister's place a little at a time. While she is home, I've been ramping up my DBing and trying to GAL.

Today things are much better than they were before. When we are together, I try to turn on the charm without overdoing it and think about what got us attracted to each other in the first place. I basically look in her eyes alot to see when we are "connecting". I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

I'm trying to increase amount of time I feel that "connection" working. Then try to increase their duration. Today she actually looks at me more when we're talking which is a huge step from when she first came back in Dec. And I can get close to her without causing her to jump out of her skin.

Slowly but surely I know I can get there. You will too.

[Kittyfish]

My stepson suffers from severe eczema as well. Allergy related. Exwife and MIL don't want to keep him on steroids but I think it would help. Every time he goes to his moms in the summer his ezcema gets infected.

What do you guys do? He gets oral allergy medication (claritin and singular) We grease him down with either Aquaphor or Bag Balm- and add Bactraban if the skin is broken. Sometimes we have to put on hydrocortizone as well. He also gets an oral itch medication if it's really bad.

He's only 8 but has scars behind his knees already. Primary areas for him are behind the knees, elbow, neck and a spot on the buttocks area.

I feel bad for your daughter- I never realized the depth of how bad it could get.

[MrBond]

We grease her down with Aveeno for now. We did Cetaphil, Aquafor, pretty much everything under the sun. We've also been trying Burt's Bee's Wax. I think the stuff with Grape seed oil is what we're also trying now.

We also put clear bandages on her so that she doesn't tear open her skin.

Her allergies stem from dust, milk and eggs. Hopefully she outgrows it.

Steroids do help, so I would recommend that just for a trial. My D is too young, so we can't use that. She's been taking Zyrtec though to help alleviate the allergic reactions.

[confusedinpa]

Both of my boys have the same problem. Their issue is dairy

My wife found this stuff called Detente that works really well. It's 40 bucks a bottle but it works so that makes of priceless.

We had tried a lot if different things until we found this that worked

[25yearsmlc]

Steroids lower their immunity as I am sure your doctor will tell you. So if it is more than a few days or a week, during the summer, welllllll. MY sister in law did that last summer for hers and took them for about 3-4 weeks and went to a lake house for a week. Suddenly her back really hurt and she got a fever of 103'F, then 104'F and then I SWEAR...105'F

SHE GOT BACTERIAL MENINGITIS and was in ICU for 10 days...WTH?

(Holy Crap!)....Steroids DO HAVE great uses, but that little downside ain't so little.

J-

[MrBond]

Yep. Steroids should always be used in moderation.

Plus they mess up your hormones for awhile and do things like have you retain water.

[Sara]

I just called the 800 number for dtente, and they are going to send me some samples. I am "itching" to try it!

[MrBond]

Amazing how many people have it. What do you know? Marriage advice and medical advice all at the same time.

[MrBond]

Coach,

when you were going through your sitch with Greek, did you find yourself jotting down all the "positive" interactions you had with her and try to do more of the same? I'm finding out I'm doing alot of that now.