Originally Posted By: Ready2Change
My POV:

I feel he doesn't understand how to be compassionate. He is taking your tears personally instead of holding you and being there for you.

I know I had to go through my divorce to learn how to do that. I have grown a lot during this process. I believe men are "trained" not to be compassionate. During this difficult time in you life, you should lean on your girl friends if needed.

You need to decide if you want to ask him. If you do, make sure you word it in "MAN TALK". Post your question to him here and we can give guidance....

HUGS


Too true. His mom is a master manipulator, so I think this affects his outlook as well. His comment was "How do you think it looks when you are perfectly calm when I tell you I don't want to be married anymore, but you burst into tears when I ask you about the furniture purchase?"

I simply explained that I had a difficult day, that I was still pregnant, and I didn't really expect him to understand the hormonal aspect of pregnancy. He wasn't there for my first one, and he pretty much hasn't been around for this one either.

I don't think he does well with being compassionate either. He was very supportive last year when my brother died, but in the past it's been very hard to get him to "be there" for me when I was going through something difficult.

I have great girlfriends smile I don't even need to talk to them about this stuff, just hanging out and eating sushi or pancakes or whatever and gossiping does the trick! To do this I can't get into their mindset where they thing H is a total moron for doing this, and if I sit around bitching about it, that's where I'll be.

OK, "man talk"...

H, why would you think I would cry to manipulate you at this point? What would I have to gain by doing that as opposed to what I would have to lose?

Too "female"? smile