#64..., counting & counting & counting...zzzzzz

[Kalni]

Yeah, yeah, I did too Lan, but he (FG) didnt. Because he knows how I get upset by it, I think.

So, we didnt talk last night. We spent 3 hours out playing with the kids that were having sooo much fun and made comments such as "dad, when can we do this again, next month?" (ouch!!!) I took them cookies, ice tea and potato chips because he had said he was hungry but wanted to wait till dinner (pizza time). He seemed pleased (AOS his MAJOR #1 LL).

H was clearly upset about that big newspaper closing and all the developments in the media here, which is bad but on the other hand makes his morning job look as paradise of security (truly is, H has been there for 13 years now). I asked him a few times what is going on but he didnt want to talk so I quit.

We went home and bathed the kids, ordered pizza, played golf on WII (I suck) and put the kids to bed. I went in for a shower and by the time I came out he was asleep. Still stuck in his corner.

This morning I left and he was sleeping. I need to book vacation and dont know what to do. This is how he keeps me in "limbo", because he is not mad, mean or anything and sometimes I see some light at the end of tunnel. But he HAS let me down so many times in the past I cant BELIEVE he will make his words actions..
K

[Kalni]

H called and SAID "I am angry at myself because I couldnt wake up again today and missed spending the morning with the kids...". He is really struggling. I could tell from his voice. I listened and said nothing. I dont want to "save him" by offering a live saver such as "it's ok, dont worry, etc etc". He needs to worry, he needs to hit bottom to finally act on the things that mess up his and our (kid's) lives.
K

[AliSuddenly]

wow K, this is great, the penny is really dropping with him it seems. And I think you are right now to placate him, or fix it, because its NOT ok to spend your life at work/in bed.. like you say, he just needs to really feel it and know how much he is missing out on before he can take some action and do something about it. I cant wait until he does! Wont things be completely different then hey. You know what though, its going in the right direction at least.. he is noticing and also at the point of being able to verbalise how he is messing up and how bad he feels. So action is the next step (in the year 2050, lol !!!!) Ok, still not funny.

Hugs to you, Al xxx

[kat727]

Book your vacation and go with or without him. He seems to get it then. However, you also seem better when you don't sit in limbo. Limbo is no fun, I did that enough already and so have you.

Hugs, kat

[Sara]

I'm with Kat. I'm glad he finally answered your email. It is an improvement. but the only thing that seems to get through is that life is moving on and leaving him behind. So book the vacation and let him know what the plans are. You still need a husband not a brother or platonic friend in your life.

[Kalni]

I know Sara. Believe me, I know. I havent given up yet on a good husband...
K

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Kalni)))))

Yes, keep moving! We know that as soon as you stop, he'll stop. If you keep going, maybe he can actually build up enough momentum that he can carry the load for a while. OK, that could take a while, but maybe someday he can do it. In the meantime, you've taken control of your life!

[Kalni]

I took the kids out and "we jumped fires". We were at a playground and a dad invited us to go to their fire, it's a tradition here, St John "something" (we have many) nameday is tomorrow and we burn the 1st May flowers tonight and jump over the fire. Single girls are supposed to dream of their future Hs tonight. I wonder if I will see a dream. Dear God, make it Brad Pitt!!!

It was fun and kids were excited. Customs and traditions are dying in the city. I was excited too. H called in the middle of it. He sounded sad. It is tough to be him these days...
K

[mishka422]

Tough to be him..yes. Tough to be you...not so much! That sounds like a lot of fun! Why are the traditions dying? That is so sad. Too much technology intruding on family time.

[Ready2Change]

Hi Kalni,

Thanks for stopping by my thread. We have common friends here. I have had your thread "watched" for some time. Stay strong!

HUGS