So, you guys are just doing the roommate thing and waiting for divine intervention? Or, are you just staying together for the kids until they are older? Or, are you just not sure yet?
What will happen when some random guy tells her she's beautiful and amazing? What will happen when some random girl tells you how hot and amazing you are? Is there any of that kind of general attention, admiration, and interest shown? Who doesn't want that?
I know that when I feel lonely and unwanted, if H is engaged on the computer I want to dump it in the trash can. I love when we wake up and linger in bed just to have a few moments of tenderness together (not necessarily sex.) You can't make that little stuff happen?
I don't mean to step in from left field here. I haven't kept up with your very long journey. I am curious as to your hopes, your plan (if there is one,) and whether you have found peace.
I know that when I feel lonely and unwanted, if H is engaged on the computer I want to dump it in the trash can. I love when we wake up and linger in bed just to have a few moments of tenderness together (not necessarily sex.) You can't make that little stuff happen?
Nope. Trust me, I've tried it ALL.
Our current plan is to see if IC helps her at all with her intimacy issues.
It doesn't get more outrageous than filing for divorce, and even that didn't work. No, this problem is within her, and she has to solve it.
And yes, I feel VERY defeated and hopeless. I've been at this for 20 years, remember; the affair two summers ago was only the straw that broke this sexual camel's back.
How can any marital problem be only within one spouse? Even if she has intimacy issues, you have a reaction (or non-reaction) to it.
No?
You sound like you are in no mood for my bulldogging. I don't want to upset you, Puppy. I just can't stand to see you give up, take your ball and go home.
It's not you, Lucky. It's just that I've been at this for SO long, and it's like when you have hiccups, and you get 5,650 home remedies on how to get rid of them, and everyone swears THEIRS will work.
No, it's not just her. But it STARTS in her. Then I react poorly, get pissy/pouty/withdrawn, and pull further away, and the cycle repeats. And . . .
