have i mentioned im done with the mail? i decided to bring it in today, only to see he didnt pay our income taxes in full.
im nauseous. im on hold with the state to cry my hardship and perhaps innocent spouse.
its not alot of money, im just really angry at all of this and dont want to be the one to bail him out.
i had no idea it wasnt paid in full. i put the taxes together, signed it and he took it and paid it. no mention of not paying in full.
i love the "half-truths", oh, sure i will go pay it. leaves out - not paying in full.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
I'm sorry to hear that. But it does kind of seem like your H isn't one that can be trusted with money. I mean just recently he cashed your reimbursement check without talking to you or asking you about that. I hope he doesn't have any further access to your funds or anything in the future? Karen
the only thing i have left to protect is our 401k, and i am doing just that - protecting it.
once he finds a new job, i have to make sure im receiving money from it, but for now, he is unemployed.
im living day by day, tackling things as they come, doing my best to stay on top of what i can.
to him, im sure he felt like, no big deal, i will pay the remainder when they bill me.
from what i hear, people that were once responsible and then fall apart and stop paying things, see that nothing really "happens" to them, therefore they get more comfortable than you and i with letting some bills slide.
he can do what he wants with his personal credit cards, but this involved me, so im angry that i was not told that we did not pay in full.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
he isnt sticking to his usual predictable schedule and i dont like it.
he is coming friday. i was like, ok, i just need to know so i can make plans for son and me.
then i said, and sunday as usual?
and i got a bit of a run around answer.
cant be like this, i need to know a set schedule, like always.
im now conjuring up situations, like he is taking ow somewhere for the weekend, even though i know he has no money to be doing so, even though he has not one credit card.
or maybe even better, he has a job he has not told me of yet.
whatever he ends up doing will certainly involve work on weekends.
i dont like this.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
i left him a message and asked him to call me back.
he called me and i told him i need a set schedule, that we always had one and now with him mixing up the days it is confusing and makes things complicated because i need to be able to make plans.
i told him i understand that it may change when he has a new job but for now i need to know.
he was fine, he said ok.
i think something is up.
it may be as simple as this - he has no job or structure to life and everyday is a weekend so to him, he doesnt need a schedule.
not good enough for me.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
but did i? i still feel like even though i said it, it doesnt affect him.
do u think it does? he was fine but played it off like its no big deal.
i am taking my son to the mets game on thursday afternoon. it is something h usually does, he usually gets the tix.
our mutual friends are giving the tix to me. so my son just called h to tell him. i hope it makes him think. i hope he feels a pain in him, that our friends (its his friend from growing up), still talk to me and gave me the tix.
these are the friends we had plans with when h was home. and he knows they dont approve of what he has done.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
but did i? i still feel like even though i said it, it doesnt affect him.
Doodles, repeat after me slowly:
"NO . . . LONGER . . . MY . . . CONCERN."
You do it (establish the boundary) because IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. NOT to get any sort of reaction out of him.
The rest of your post just proves my point, I'm afraid. For god's sake, take your son to the baseball game BECAUSE IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO, not to see if it "affects (your husband)."
i am taking him because i want to, because we will have fun, im the one that likes sports anyway, although im a yankees fan.
but yes, i do still want reaction out of him. not so much about the mets game, probably more about who was giving us the tix.
i am still focused on him. im doing better, but still focused on him, on the ow, and wondering if there is trouble in paradise.
i cant seem to help that. im trying, but not there yet.
me: 31 H:29 Son:5 m:8 years in november t:10 years first bomb: 10/06 moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08 ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06 d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08 moved home:3/09 out again 5/09
