No 2x4's around here, KAW. I know that you love your W, for probably many reasons. I have to agree though that her behavior in the actions you describe are very immature.
I'm not sure what to say here...wanted to stop in and let you know I was thinking about you
As a former WAS I can often empathise to some extent the "need" to get out that a WA feels In my case no OM were involved though. I find it difficult to understand many of your W's actions when I look at it from either angle, WAS or the one trying to make the M work. So much of it seems so childish and petty ANd that OM is M too...well that just makes her behaviour seem more bizarre.
I feel for you KAW...you work so DARN hard...I just wish I could be of more help
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
You have made so many positive changes. Yet she seems to want what she wants so badly, that she's turning a blind eye to all the progress you've made...and all your hard work.
On the other hand, you've achieved the grace in which your 'more of the same' is you being a kind, loving, and attentive husband. Since she can take that and still think badly about you, that shows me this is about her and not about you at all.
I'm sure you are feeling frustrated and discouraged.
It seems like she's just using whatever you do as ammunition against you.
Even the good stuff she's using as ammunition.
You are in a tough spot, my friend.
Have you had any wild thoughts about what you can do that would be a 180?
I believe in you, KAW. I think you are a good husband. Whatever decision you make, I'm sure will be the right one for you.
Like JJ, I don't really have much to say except that I agree that sometimes things have to get bad before they can get better.
I'm not sure if I'm reading JJ's post correctly, but:
Quote: My only thoughts on this is that sometimes, you have to make things worse before they get better.
Implies that you've been trying too hard.
If you're like me, you couldn't bring yourself to "make" things harder, even if you thought it would work.
But FWIW, it doesn't sound to me like OM is ready to dump his W (or he wouldn’t' be sneaking around behind her back). If that’s true, their R is doomed.
And you're making things harder for CAW just by being you. You’re a great guy KAW, and in itself, that puts the pressure on CAW to prove differently. Frankly, I think it must make it pretty uncomfortable for CAW trying to make you out to be the bad guy.
This level of pressure won’t make anything change fast. Can you and should you turn up the heat? I truly don’t know.
Just take care of yourself, my friend. Make sure there’s something left of KAW when this drama plays itself out.
Hi..wanted to say hi..have been lurking..but not around much..too tired from work...hope you are taking care of you.doing what you need to do to be happy and content.
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In my case no OM were involved though. I find it difficult to understand many of your W's actions when I look at it from either angle, WAS or the one trying to make the M work. So much of it seems so childish and petty 