Hey Sam, found you!! Have you identified her LL? Sounds like AOS to me. H used to do things like that if I gave him space once in while. Still does as his way to express his love (???). You may have talked about it early on but I just read the couple of your last posts...
I had been requesting MC for months before he moved out. We went once when the C said she needed him present "to help me". She told us what we had been thru was too much to handle and we could make it thru. He dismissed that session. Fast forward 18 months we start MC for reconciliation purposes. It was a prerequisite. We stop and I dont pursue it because I felt it was harming us. He starts IC without me suggesting it. Hits a low point, says he will continue, 4 sessions later he stops. You cant make them go. The amount of work that becomes evident can be overwhelming. Hopefully some questions will be raised in her head. H was shocked to realise he is replaying his dad's behavior who he adores but is only human and made mistakes.. Now all I need to do to get him thinking is ask "is it you speaking or your dad?" (yeah I know, sleezy)
(yeah I know, sleezy)