From City Girl's post- "I learned in C'ing that the "growing pains" of divorce usually arent totally felt by the WAS until the divorce (legally) is over and all the BS associated with divorce is done. Reality is tough for all parties involved. Its just that the LBS has been working and preparing for the realities for some time and the WAS hasnt given much of anything any deep thought".
Experienced this when H. told me 3 mos into separation that "it was starting to feel real to him a little bit". WTF!??
But regarding "WAS hasnt given much of anything any deep thought" I'm not sure.
Just starting to see some of the things that my H. had been focused on, focused on to the point tht he was blocking out the obvious, like that one we were separated it was going to become more real, hello...but still, I had blinders on to things too. Mostly because I was focused on the reality impact of Sep/divorce. So perhaps we are trading perspectives now and again.
True, they might only be thinking "run", without "run to where" or, "then what" or "do I really want to run away from everything". But what was causing them to want to run was valid, is valid. Just as their role in the demise is equally valid.
So in the end, I guess we are back to...we all have our own work to do and have to make the choice to do that work. If only we could all get our timing in sync!
Last edited by traveldane; 06/23/0907:50 PM.
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
