total quarter life mlc

[mdoodles]

im doing ok today, i tackle what i need to but at the same time, i dont want to let go.

everyone tells me to. everyone points out all of the bad things he has done, and they are all valid points. very valid.

but i know if he showed up, i would take him back.

everyday i have something else financial to clean up from him.

today was the bill from our income taxes informing me he didnt pay what we owed in full. he never told me.

its very upsetting.

so why do i still hold on, hold out hope he can be himself again?

its so hard.

im living day by day, maybe that is how i have to do it now, until one day i wake up and have firmly decided, without waivering, that im finished.

i think i get closer to it everyday. and then i have a setback.

i just dont know.