You sound just like me. Talking in absolutes. Ever, never, etc.....
Yes, things are unpredictable right now. Your life is still in chaos right now. That isn't going to be forever. You will find your balance and settle into a normal, stable routine. Until then, it's a good idea not to involve anyone else in your own turmoil.
As to why you let XW get to you, there is still an emotional tie there. There is still a tie to her with your children. That doesn't go away because a piece of paper declared you legally D'd. You held out hope of reconciling for a LONG time after the split. Look at the day your D was finalized as your true separation date. The estimates for emotional recovery from D are 1 year for every 4 years of marriage. That would mean I've got 3.5 years before I'm stable. How about you?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
