Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Off the wall for second, anybody know if cleaners in a microwave poisen your food? Oh well, at least my mouth tastes clean.

So, anyhow, whatever day it is now, I'll have to get back on track with that.

Recovery mode carries on, once again. I was asked why I let XW get to me, "what difference does it make what XW says or does?". I Couldn't answer. Before it was, it isn't over, there's still a chance. Now? I honestly don't have an answer. It's just crazy. At least now, when I do crash, I dont' feel completely miserable, I can turn the other cheek and say whatever to the whole thing, instead of dwelling over 'what if', or 'why did she say/do this?'.

I think I've lost all desire to persue anything further with my new person for the time being. Just some friendly phone calls and well being checks for now. I'm just too unpredictable and have my own issues to handle that I don't think will ever be resolved and that's a huge part of it. I don't think I'm ever gong to get closure.

I do need to make some changes in my life and that is my focus for now. Everything else will just have to wait.