I didn't say anything about her coming back. I'm just concerned about D7. She is obviously having a difficult time with this and could probably stand to be put into counseling.

By using the word divorce with your W you are only creating more issues of guilt and anger for your W. If you are concerned with D7 then you should have said just what you typed out "W, I am concerned for D7, she seems to be having a difficult time and I think its important she go back to C'ing". That would be far more direct and mentions nothing of the divorce.

Would I like W to think about the impact that this is creating. Yes, because I don't know if she is and I figured she didn't know what was going on and it looks like she didn't.

Again... you figured or assumed and in the end you ended up learning nothing. What it "looks like" to you might be vastly different than what it "looks like" to your W and trying to get your W on the same page will do no good. Your W may never think about the impact she is creating and you planting seeds will only lead her to resent you more.

But no, I don't want her coming back out of guilt and I do not expect this to bring her back. I want her to come back because she wants to come back.

At this point you should be detached enough to accept nothing will bring her back to the M.

But she needs to be aware of what is going on with the kids so that if nothing else, we can help them adjust in what evr method that is. Probably counseling.

You have no idea what she is aware of or what she is now aware of. You choose to tell her what goes on when the kids are w/you. Perhaps she chooses NOT to tell you what goes on when the kids are with her. If you feel your children need help then get them help. Be direct and simple w/your approach with your W.

Several of us have mentioned that if you are goign to have a conversation w/your W it might be best to post here first so we can help you present your ideas in the best fashion possible. Why didnt you do that?

You feel, see and process things from your POV and have not yet obtained the tools to "see the other side" of things. By sharing what you would like to discuss with your W before you actually do it, we may be able to point out things that wont sit well and cause a bigger divide. Right now your goal is to be a good co-parent and a better Kevin.