Yesterday was a better day. My wife said "thank you" for the coffee I made her that morning. She is starting to say this with greater frequency (small positive steps, right?). Later that day, I picked up the kids from school and cooked dinner. She was thankful for my initiative. We had a very good conversation during dinner, mostly about how well work was going for me. She showed a certain level of curiousity around this topic. This is a 180 example for me b/c for the past year or so I did nothing but complain about my new job...my W expects me to be critical about everthing. Since my W insists that I can never change, I just wanted to throw out an example of how things can change. I feel yesterday was my best DBing to date. I didn't have to pretend I was happy, I really was happy. After dinner, we played with the kids. I received quite a bit of eye contact and smiles from the W. The "kill her with kindness" routine appears to be a positive strategy for me. Negativity is an absolute buzz kill...I have to learn not to react with my negative emotions. It's a hard habit to break. Like you said in a previous post, the "cold-detach" strategy is not appropriate at this time. I need to become the greatest guy I can with the God-given talents and limitations I possess.
Thank you very much and I'll keep posting. Your comments are soul-nourishing. -LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009
