Opt , sorry for not being clear. OM hung up because his W was there with him at the time as she answer the phone and gave it to him.
Cupcake , Yes D18 is our first. After the start of the A, CAW attempt to move into an apartment own by OM in a building next door, but that fell thru. D18 and OM's son are the same age and shared some classes together but hung with different circle of friends. D18 know of mom's A with OM but OM's son apparently didn't know D18 what the daughter of his Dad's OW. She overheard him once talking to his friend's about how he hated his father for what he was doing to his mother and that she had found out about him trying to rent the apartment to one of his girlfriends. She apparently pu the kibosh on the whole thing. Shortly after CAW told me she "broke" it off with OM told her not to contact him for a while because W was going to be in town for a few more days and that coupled with my changes got her thinking she should try at making M work.
Quote: Maybe she just never got it out of her system. Seems like sometimes, they just need to "get out" to really see the reality of the situation.
Ya know Cupcake, that has been one of my biggest fear I have had since. The fact that it was he that broke off contact the first time would come back to haunt me in that she didn't initate the closure on that R ... he did and where it never ran it course to the point where she wanted out.
Quote: that has been one of my biggest fear I have had since. The fact that it was he that broke off contact the first time would come back to haunt me in that she didn't initate the closure on that R ... he did and where it never ran it course to the point where she wanted out.
Now I'm living that fear.
maybe it will actually end up being caw's biggest fear instead of yours?
you already know and understand your reality and what m is like in it...caw for some reason does not and is living in a fantasy school girl world where she's calling a married man who hangs up on her?
if what it comes to is you having to stand your ground on the om issue then I'd say do so...at this point it doesn't seem like you have much to loose and only to potentially gain in the end.
did om only hang up becuase his w answered the phone or is this typcial beh from him toward caw?
Well, I am so sorry for you, but I am REALLY sorry for your D18. CAW must really be living in alien land to put D18 in that sitch.
You know, you just really never know about these things. Some on this board were able to salvage their M with thier spouses without the spouses moving out. I don't know if my M will be salvaged, but I know in my case, there wasn't a chance in H$ll if my H hadn't moved out. I believe he had to be alone. He has since said "a person really has a chance to think when they are gone and alone".
May I suggest you get the book "Getting Back Together" and read it. If anything, will help your PMA - it is very supportive of separations in troubled marriages. Almost like you need the separation to do just that - Separate the old R with the new R.
I do, however envy those on this board like Sage and Shiny who were able to piece it back together without their spouses leaving. Strange, isn't it. Those are the two who don't have children - and yet it was their H's who stayed in the home to piece?????? What about staying for the kids????? Whats up with that? hugs
I feel for you KAW... I am kind of in the same boat in that my H told me he told OW to move out. I ASSumed this meant he wasn't seeing her, but no... they are still together. Although I knew this, as I am sure you knew what you suspected, I guess I was hoping that he had made a break. Hang in there, don't investigate, don't let on that you know, be patient and see what unfolds. Take care.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
i am truly sorry to hear these events unfold like this. i hate it inside my heart when the kids hurt, no matter how old they are. but it says something to me the relationship you have with your daughter that she can come to you with what is horrible news and share it with you
you have done a remarkable job in raising your daughter, you should be proud
these things take time, but the question is, when caw is done taking the time she needs to figure herself out, will you be wanting her?
HI...I want you to know that I am thinking about you and your kids....you are a great example to them of what a Dad and husband are..they will be ok...and you will too...I know it is hard, we are not all going to successfully put our m back to what we would like, but look at what we have done in our lives in the process...we have found a whole new meaning on what we need to do for ourselves to be happy. We have found an enourmous bunch of great friends that have gotten us through the tears and laughed at the same time.
It made me feel good to think I might help someone else..even if I don't have a lot of ideas or great wisdom to pass on. I have a heart and I feel for the pain that you are feeling...I feel so great that I have grown and found so much out about myself..I feel like you have too...it may not bring our s back to us, but we will be better equipped to move on with our lives.
