Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

(Sorry K!!! x)...he was soooo sorry, he put me through so much and for what? all for nothing.. I said, well it wasnt for nothing. He agreed that we have both made mistakes and had regrets at times, but no more messing about now, he wanted this to be it, for life, to not drift anymore, this is for keeps! He said he cant believe his luck that I took him back after what he put me through and he feels so lucky and blessed and I said that we were both lucky and blessed and he agreed and stressed its for keeps now.. but joked he wouldnt hold me to it if in 30 years time I decide to leave him. The way he was talking, I was worried he was about to propose there and then (I hope he does, just a little more special than the local village pub!).

He said he loved me, soo much, I really really do...so I feel able to ask little things now, but I keep it to an absolute minimum still.. I agree with you all that more time needs to pass whilst we reestablish ourselves as a couple. So I asked about Christmas Day and he said he DID think of me, of course, very much and got teary then.. I joked he owed me a skiing holiday... he got very serious and said he had been thinking the same and he would LOVE that and wants us to (I got the impression it would be healing for him, for his regrets). I said he was busy having a good time, he said, no, not really.

He bought up the fact that February was our 10 year anniversary.. I said it would have been and he looked upset again and kept hugging me trying not to cry, so I laughed and said ok, what the hell, lets call it our 10 year anniversary anyway if you like, whose gonna argue?!

He shamefully admitted that he never went to the comedy show I got tickets for, which was last November, that it "wouldnt have been right" (to take her I guess) and it had upset him to lie to me about going.

So another mystery solved !!! He said, I know theres things you need to know and want to ask in time and thats ok, but this is it for me now, I want us to be ok now. I asked him if it was difficult.. at work... (meaning her, we never use her name of even the word "her").. he said no, not at all and some words that made me realise he has had NO contact with her since they split up, which I was glad about.

My parents were here Thu-Mon (we took them to bandnight and they loved it !!) and they all got on great and it went very well. We were on a 2 day kayaking course which was brilliant, but he did nosedive the last afternoon and got irritable (depressed). It was quite hard on me, but he was ok by the evening and we talked about it (hence him going back on ADs).

Last night was our first 'normal' night.. he cooked whilst I did some chores and I no longer feel like I need to be this flirty girty firecracker, I can be myself and wind down a bit around him, after our fun weekend.

So, theres more layers to unpeel but he seems more and more regretful and like he IS emerging from a sleepwalk, or fog, realising what he has done. I made him cry by accident..he was amazed I got a deli curry from Asda reduced to 50p last night.. I said, now you see how come I ate ready meals alot. He said but you have to be there every evening to take advantage and I absentmindedly said I was, I used to go to Asda every night just for something to do (I did in those early dark days!)...he stopped and looked at me in shock and said you're kidding? Seriously? I joked what a saddo, going to Asda for company.. and then realised what I had said as he started crying. He hugged me and cried for ages and I just rubbed his back and said, it was hard.. and hugged him, then we joked about the dinner burning and we left it there...

So little bits are being revealed of what I went through, but he can only handle the minimun!