Your mindset has to change from, what do I do to improve this situation to I am a great guy a girl would be stupid not to want to be with me.
While in that mindset, be nice to this woman that is around you, upbeat, personable, but only when she engages you. You have way too much going on. (and if you do not, get some things going on)
If all else fails, fake it until you make it.
You sound week, searching for the magic pill to fix her, it is not out there. The strong person sounds like the guy that she is hanging around. There may not be anything going on between them, but in her mind there may be a desire to have something more than the work relationship, this EA within herself can also cause her to look down at you.
Time to be a man, make things happen, don't fight things that take effort. Just do them.
