I bought a coach purse and a wallet at the outlet mall - with an extra 20% off. $200. Now keep in mind - he's bought guns and a $300 bow for hunting. A new motorcycle but of course he would argue his business makes the payments. He always seems to come up with money for something he wants. He said to me last night what if I went out and bought a $200 fishing rod? I wanted to say you've bought all kinds of stuff in the past. I just said I wouldn't have a problem with it because neither one of us are spend thrifts. I told him it was for my birthday that the boys can just give me a card.
What do you think about him quitting counseling - saying that one of us (mostly him) walks away angry and he's not getting anything out of it? He feels he knows how to commuicate. He just needs to make up his mind whether or not he's going to commit to work things out.
Oh yes, and we had to go through a written list of things he wanted to get off his chest yet again. I told him I know it will take time for him to work through his anger and bitterness and that I think consistent positive changes in BOTH our behavior is what will help us both work through our issues.
Of course at the end of the conversation he tells me that he still really enjoys S with me and that has continued between us. Oh yeah he talked about what he'd like to see differently about our relationship. Of course I had to ask to see if he wanted to hear what I wanted.
He's goes from being angry and withdrawn to friendly - like last night laying in bed he kept talking to me about what he was watching on TV. I still think he doesn't really know what he wants. He's said he's been out on the Internet researching divorce. When's the right time the right way to do it and there are no good answers out there. I still think he's afraid of making a decision he'll regret. I guess because of this MLC he's in he's just one mixed up person.
All I know is that I cannot be the only person making positive changes in this relationship. I'm hoping he'll respond to the postive changes I'm making. I realize the only person's behavior I can change is my own.
