Well, to sum it up its a good thing I've gotten use to no expectations!

We did spend most of the day Saturday looking to adopt a kitten and Sunday we brought home "Mikey" (CAW's pick) a six week old gold & white puffball.

On Monday (our Anniversary Day), I took off from work early to get home before her. I set up on the dining room table a vase of peach colored roses (she prefers that color over red) along with an eloquent wrapped gift and a card. One thing I learned from Emeril's cooking shows is presentation is everything and I greeted her with a big smile. She staggered saying she wasn't feelin' well, but commented on how pretty the flowers were and then said "Now I feel bad, because I didn't get you anything." I said, "That's OK, I just wanted to let you know how much ILY." She just stood there silent, so with a big smile I gave her an embracing hug and a kiss on the forehead. She said she needed to lie down. She developed a major headache so that was the end of my plans to take her out for some fine dining, so I ordered a pizza for D10 & me. CAW did make the comment that she felt really guilty for ruining my B-day and this day now too. I told her not to worry about it ... all I want is to spend the days with her. Altho disappointed in missing out of a enjoyable evening out, other than that I really feeling pretty good. I am learning to get my gratification from my efforts rather than looking for expectations of what I will receive from CAW.

Rest of the week she has remained pretty withdrawn. Last nite she was down rite pi$$y and as I tried to keep an upbeat one way conversion going , ... then the phone rings and its her best friend. CAW doesn't pick up and I give her a look. She says, "I don't want to talk to her." I ask if something happened at work today (they work together) and she said she did want to talk about anything to anybody (meaning me too). So lotsa space last nite. Hung out with D10 most of the evening playing with Mikey.

... but I've been thru this before. I hate to say it but I think I'm getting use to it. It no longer upsets me. I just focus on doing my own thing and making sure what I'm doing makes me feel good about myself and will wait and see if she comes back towards me yet again. We'll see what the weekend brings. To be honest, I don't know it I will continue with anymore updates for now. I'm tired of sounding like a party pooper here. I'd much rather visit all of you folk's threads ... just wish I had more time to do so.

'til later,
KAW