Sorry that I've been scarce. Yesterday, I was connection using the dial-up at home. It took four times to make the posts that I did and was attempting to reply to LL & kitti when I was disconnected again ... so I gave up yesterday. This morning I had a lot of catch up work to do...
Thanks for all the encouragement and the hugs you all sent my way. I guess my own expectations sometime still get in my way. After being in piecing for over a year, I feel we should be much further along than we are.
I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't all that clear about "package". To be more specific, a big box arrived from Figis which contain some smaller boxes, which are gifts CAW purchase. (She does this every year.), but I didn't look at them. I snooped in her top dresser draw, which I know is a spot she used to stash stuff from me. It was there that I found a small box with the same markings as the others from Figis. In this box was the gold pocketwatch with OM's initials engraved on it. My reason for bring it up was to establish this is part of her current state of mind. She made the purchase just last week and it arrived this week. Tell me if you can that this is way of base, but my interpretation of this is that she is anticipating to strengthen the bond between her and OM in the near future. This just does not bode well for me.
Which is where my comment about "backbone" comes in. The only play I haven't made yet is to bring this to a head, but in order to do that I have to be willing to walk away from it all and I just can't bring myself to do this. Hence, I'm at an impasse. I don't see OM going away any time soon, yet I am not able to face walking away either, but it pains me a great deal to remain here with an A that continues.
I guess I have to figure out which of the two is the greater pain to bear? At this time I really don't know?
I guess my head is clear some today. As I posted, our 19th anniversary is Monday. I think I figured out what she would enjoy. I think I will mention going to the animal shelters in the area this weekend and bring home a new addition to the family.
Well gotta go ... there's a meeting I need to be present at ...
