Mindblank #4 - Can I borrow some meds?

[ernest88]

OK, yes I care if the piers and boats/waverunners are in. We live on water, and water sports are/were our life. However, I've only mentioned this one other time this Spring, and it was in reference to the pier not looking like it made it through the flood of last summer. I have never asked him to put them in, or said it to someone else in front of him.

so...maybe this is part of the deep down root of the problem...doesn't matter how many times you've asked him...when they are in the fog...he takes all that as you nagging..the way you said what you said just created drama

you don't need drama...we create our own misery..

And, he has limited time @ home because he has CHOSEN this work lifestyle. He can take time off anytime he wants, to a certain extent. He didn't travel (much) for 12 years. This is the past 16 months (FOG MONTHS). I don't sympathize w/his lack of time. He can take time if he needs/wants to. (I have NEVER said that to him. It may sound harsh, but is true.)

yes..I'm afraid men are wired this way from caveman days...we are providers, do'ers..it's what we do..

I am truly not a nag. I would tell you. I have flaws, but nagging isn't one of them. I truly do not ask for much from him (around the house or with the kids). I let him sleep in, keeping the house quiet when he's home, purposely make dinner(s)/meal(s) at home as much as possible when he is home (he eats out all week/junk), try to handle as much handyman stuff as I can on my own (or hire it out), and work full time, to help ease the pressure of our lifestyle.

He is just plain not interested in me, our marriage, or anything that reminds him of it. He truly is only interested in the kids. He tolerates me, has fun w/me, laughs, shows some caring, but has given up on us, and is content to either live like a f'kn MONK (but w/a family), or keep his family and do a damn exprt job of covering an affair. I just don't see it, though. I've checked almost anything I could, and he's come clean.

ohh I get all that..I see how he has helped the marriage fail....

so what part of this failure do you own?? it's not all him you know....it may be 60% him 40% you or it may be 50/50..or could possibly be 70/30...

so claim your part...work on your part...

stay away from the drama...


thanks for the father's day wishes..ya need to get over to FB..you can put faces with the names..