Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

From what you can recall, what was your experience like Sandi?

It felt like I was a young woman again and I was experiencing sexual excitment that I had not had for a long time. I was looking at a birthday coming up that just hit me smack in the face and realized I would be considered "old" and I was losing my looks and sex appeal.

Sandi,

My W has told me that during what she has described as the "height" of the EA in all of March (where she was only sleeping 3-4 hrs. everyday and texting/calling the OM 20+ hrs. non stop) that she felt this way and how incredible it was. She has stated that she no longer feels this level of intensity for OM.... yet she admits to a strong desire for it to all work out despite the fact that "a number of things would have to happen in order for it to work out" (perhaps her attempt to demonstrate she is in touch with "reality"?)

I may have mentioned before that my W has told me that the EA with OM has opened her eyes to how happy she could be with the "right" person- and that is not me. I just don't make her feel loved, admired/respected, beautiful, etc. She has repeatedly told me and others that people can't change, and that she feels bad that I want to change now and that she does not care. She has indicated that I am definitely not want she wants. She has also explained to the OM that she wants him and he can have her but that if he can't/won't make the sacrifices needed, she will still divorce me, move on and find someone else just like him to fulfill her needs. She has told OM and I that she would rather live ALONE that live with me as the EA has brought into sharp contrast for her feelings/impressions that I "look down on her" and "always have." He puts her on a pedestal (big time!) and I do not.

As I have previously described the OM, he is deep down a pathetic individual who is slick with the women- an extrovert living a very active single life- but who has never had a successful long term relationship. My W is beautiful and successful- someone he does not deserve and could not get before the EA. My wife has compared him to the "Beast" as in the movie "Beauty and the Beast" while I remind her of the "Gaston" character. (I know, this is the maturity level I am dealing with. and yes, I know that it all smacks of my W having a very low self esteem.) So I believe that this OM is desperate and just might try his best to "save" my W from a perceived horrible marriage. I believe that she is DEFINATLEY encouraging this type of though process with him- so I'm starting to wonder who is using who- both of them I guess for their own selfish reasons.