I was wondering where you were wink wish I had a way to get in touch, but glad to see you here.

It is a business deal, you are right. SO going to skip the zoo. Let him figure out the transportation.

I like your written response, and will send that in the morning. An objective viewpoint was needed.

I know that I let some emotional stuff get in there. I've kept it bottled up for more than a year, and this whole thing just got to me.

What was my goal? I did loose track of that. It was to have the hot tub for the kids (I probably won't even use the thing). And I let it go towards trying to get some empathy from a stone. Pisses me off that I have to pay for something that our family already paid for and has been sitting in the yard for more than a year. I have been slow to anger, and some things are still fuming below the surface for me, which I have to let go. I keep thinking I did, then the sticky thing comes back in sitches like this. (Remember the $500 in jewelry that he put on my credit card just after the bomb, but "threw away?" And I had to pay the bill with my refi. Still needles me, and I just have to let it go - it's BUSINESS).

The agreement said the hot tub would be sold and the proceeds split evenly. We both placed ads (at least he said he did); I concluded that no one wanted to buy the thing. I don't think he even tried to sell it, hoping that he could talk me into giving it to him. It just sat here for a year.
My assumption was that, something of no value, split evenly, means that he gets half of zero. He didn't like that.

OK, in the grand scheme of things, if it takes another $800 to be done with him, it is worth it. Better yet, he takes the offer and writes it off completely. We'll see.

This was the response I sent tonight before reading here:
"Do not come to my house tomorrow. If the gentleman would like to see the tub, give him directions and I will be here to show it. I need his name and number.

I am not addressing the rest of your email tonight."

As far as the co-parenting thing is concerned, do you see this dynamic changing, ever, without some mediation/intervention/referee?


Thanks for stopping in, friends. I am so glad to have you all here for the times I need it - I never would have dreamed that it would have gotten better, though, but it certainly has! LOTS less drama overall, so not much to post about over the last few weeks (before this)!